We came to New Orleans as 11 strangers and left as life long friends

My Research Legacy Inaugural Patients

They call it the Big Easy, but it was far from easy when I met the other participants of "My Research Legacy" in New Orleans this week.

My emotions were all over the place. My heart was racing, palms sweating and all week I kept quietly thinking to myself please don't  let me get a big zit on my forehead. You are probably laughing at me, but stress can do crazy things to your complexion!

As soon as I walked into the room, I could feel the amazing connection that I had with complete strangers. We all had one thing in common a life changing event. In this case, it was a heart attack or stroke. It's a club I never thought I would be apart of, but now I know that everything happens for a reason and this is my REASON!



The room was filled with survivors who covered every corner of the U.S. As we went around the room and introduced ourselves and discussed our stories you started to see all the connections we shared.

The emotional questions of Why me, Why did this happen, What can I do to prevent this in the future, Were questions that we all had asked ourselves at one point or another post heart attack/stroke. To say an instant bond occurred is an understatement. This relationship was cemented the minute each of us shared our stories and is one that I feel can never be broken. It was amazing to feel like I was surrounded by people who had walked the same crazy path as me and now we're trying to better others.

The similarities we share made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Many of us had been long distance runners in the past, and some are currently training to run marathons this year. I have to say I'm a little jealous since my cardiologist told me no running until my one year anniversary on Feb 10th, 2017 after he conducts a stress test. Ugh, frustrating but I'll wait. Don't want to stress the old ticker out too early. Three of us were nurses who had worked with heart attack and stroke patients., but when we had our event none of us wanted to believe it was happening.

As I sit in the airport in New Orleans waiting for my flight, it's hard to express in words what the last few days have meant to me as a heart attack survivor. I was asked to be part of a new research group for the American Heart Association called "My research legacy." This group is comprised of 11 inaugural patients, who like me, have been diagnosed with a heart attack, stroke, atrial fibrillation, aortic dissection or systolic heart failure/cardiomyopathy between the ages of 21and before 50. The hope for this research is to get 1,000's of patients involved to share their personal data to drive next generation heart/stroke research. "Leave your Legacy" is our theme and defines why we have chosen to be members. I want to have my data used for good to prevent others from having to go through a life-altering event.

If you are a heart attack/stroke survivor between the ages of 21 to 50 when you had your event, I encourage you to sign up for #MYRESEARCHLEGACY 

The American Heart Association's motto is "LIFE IS WHY"  but for me my motto is "MY FAMILY IS WHY."

https://youtu.be/W17r49dyHwc

3-31-16/ The day that almost....

Before today, all birthdays were a day of celebration, gifts, and cake!! Today takes on a whole new meaning. Last night before bed I said my prayers and thanked GOD for giving me tomorrow. Tomorrow, why would I have to be thankful for tomorrow you ask? Well, until this year I had always taken for granted that March 31st would come. In the past, it symbolized the day I got to drive, my first beer and then last year turning the big 40!! Joe had always told me that when you turn 40, you start to fall apart. I laughed at him and thought he was nuts! Well, Joe you were right beyond your words. I had my first set of stitches from a pizza cutter incident, diverticulitis, and the big Heart Attack! Yikes, let's hope 41 is a better year.

Not only did I fall apart I almost lost it all. I sit here and write this blog post today with tears filling my eyes. Crazy right!! I should be over the moon excited that I get to go out to eat and have Birthday Cake ( Heart Healthy of course... maybe not), but all I can think about is that this day almost didn't happen.

There is no playbook that the nurses give you when you leave the hospital.( How I wish there was!) It would have chapters such as 1. Happy Days that now take on a new meaning. 2. Emotions beyond emotions. 3. Sam's Club memberships for Kleenex. 3. Grieving the old you. 4. Family, strengthening the ties that bind. 5. Never taking anything for granted. 6. Exercise.. The turtle vs. the rabbit. 7. Cardiac Rehab, bonding with strangers over your common bond.

It's been fun getting all the birthday wishes on Facebook and texts from friends and families. Although I will have to admit I have had many tears, they are happy tears. Tears, that I have so many loved ones in my life. Friends that I haven't talked to for years are reaching out. As I sit here and write I listen to the 10,000 Maniacs and their song These are the Days.  A song that holds a deep meaning. Joe and I call it our song, I listened to it over and over when my dad passed to remind me that life must go on.  And today LIFE DOES GO ON!!  In the song, it says " These are days that  you'll remember, never before and never since I promise."  Although these last seven weeks have been hard as crazy as it is to say, I wouldn't change the experiences I've had. It has made my family slow down and begin to enjoy every moment of every day. We find ourselves laughing more. Parker's favorite quote is "Mom, did I just give you another heart attack?"  Humor makes us who we are.. and everyone needs more of that in their lives!!

 

 

Joe for my birthday this morning gave me the Pandora Heart charm for my bracelet! It sparkles, just like my true heart.. for the new lease on life GOD has given me!! Both Julie and Jennifer gave me the bracelets above it. The Circle represents the path of life and the sailboat the journey.

 

 

Tomorrow I graduate from Cardiac Rehab!! I will be holding my diploma high. As one chapter in my life ends another begins!!



I can see clearly now.. the pain is going

Symbols: Common household items that mean so much more now..

 

 

Yep, this is my new morning and nightly routine. I look at this pill box as my lifeline to staying alive and out of the cath lab. This girl went from one pill per day to now 6 bottles lining her counter top. Every Sunday night I fill my pill box for the week.  I fear the day when taking these pills becomes too routine and I might forget. Then what? Did I just increase my risk of having another heart attack? What if skipping that last dose of my anti-platelet causes my stents to clot?  Crazy how much your mind can wander and so much focus can be put on a tiny pill the size of tic tac. ( Oh, and they sure don't taste like candy). How many times have I watched the Bayer aspirin commercial on TV and never thought that I would be that person. It's funny now how I look at objects in my house so differently. And what  deep meaning these items hold.

 





Gus watching another episode of Dexter





The many looks of Gus.. the healing dog

This is Gus our lab/beagle mix he has been by my side through the rehab process. My mother -n- law said he would sit on my side of the bed and cry while I was in the hospital. Gus and I have always had a love/hate relationship. He would eat the garbage, pull all the dirty clothes (yep,including underwear) into the living room while we were at work and loves to howl at inappropriate times. But through this crazy time Gus has been a healer! The scary thing is  I think he is becoming addicted to Showtime and Dexter as you can see from the photo. Gus is a true symbol of love, compassion and healing. No matter where I am in the house Gus is at my side! I'll be the first to admit it some days can get lonely while I'm rehabbing and Gus is a constant companion.

 

How many times do we look out the window and see a dragon fly or a cardinal and it catches your eye and it makes you stop dead in your tracks and remember the loved ones who have passed. Well, for me these symbols represent the guardian angles that were ridding shot gun with me that night in the ambulance. I truly believe that a higher power decided it was not my time to go.

 And each morning when I wake up I THANK GOD for blessing me with another day.

 



 

Many times Joe and I would go Kayaking and be surrounded by dragonflies on the water. And then out of nowhere a dragonfly would sit on my Kayak and just rest. I would see my dad in that dragonfly and feel it was his way of letting me know he was with me. Joe and I always laugh when a Cardinal flies by while we're in the car. We instantly think of our dads an them saying HELLO MURPHY'S! A friend gave me the dragonfly while I was in the hospital and it brought tears to my eyes. She knew just how much this symbol meant to me and at that moment I needed HOPE!

 

 

 

But in the end the symbol that had helped me the most through this crazy ride is FAMILY! We have shared many laughs, tears and amazing experiences over these last few weeks. They are the reason that everyday I get up and I am so thankful for yet another day.

 

 

"Family is like music, some high notes, some low notes, but always a beautiful song"

 

 

This weeks goal is to continue Cardiac Rehab without pain and enjoy this beautiful spring weather!!