Cocktails... a fun drink to now a life saving medicine

Cocktails, they were fun drinks now they are a delicate balance of medications to treat my pain while keeping me healthy. Last year at this time, I would have enjoyed a glass of wine on date night.. now  the thought doesn't even enter my mind.  They say a glass of red wine is good for the heart but to me all I can think about is the effects it can have on my blood thinners. Will the alcohol cause my blood to get too thin or too thick? It's truly amazing how those tiny little pills can have such a life saving effect on keeping my two stents open.

 Its hard to believe its been almost 8 months since my heart attack. I have struggled with chest pain off and on since that crazy night. As many of  you know, those painful events have caused 4 additional nights in two different hospitals. And the crazy, frustrating thing is when we get discharged we have  more questions than answers.

Today as I write my blog I look at my pill box that has now been turned upside down and inside out. What you ask is she talking about? My doctors have decided to go back to the night I had my heart attack and start from the beginning. It began with a call to my doctor 2 weeks ago saying I needed to be seen for chest pain. They were able to get me in right away and as I sat in the office waiting for the doctor I could see the nurses had a funny look on their faces. Hmmmm. I wondered what do they know?  They began to ask me questions about why brought me in. I stated I was having chest pressure and pain. Right away they did an EKG which was normal.. Of course it is silly.. this is just me! Chest pain, pressure and no EKG changes Thank God!!

The doctor came in put her papers on the desk and said Melissa, Melissa, Melissa what are we going to do with you? I said I know right? I was a normal, healthy lady until I went and had a heart attack and now I can't stop getting chest pain. She said that they went back to the cath lab that morning before I came in and reviewed my films of the actual heart attack on 2-11-16 and the films from my cath procedure in Iowa City in July.. and all LOOKED GOOD!! She said we are starting from the beginning with you. We think you are having continued vasospasms in your artery from where the stents are. She stated there can be many reasons, first I'm young and my arteries aren't rigid which normally is the case in older people. Also, some of the medicine can be causing this. So... leading to the pill box discussion, throw this away, start taking this and you no longer need this.

 After two weeks of medicine changes I am feeling great! The chest pain is minimal and I feel like a whole new women.. I know the song " I feel like a women" just popped up in my head too. Hind sight is 20/20 and I wish we would have figured this out say.. 7 months ago but at least we have it figured out now. One of the side effects of my new meds is a slow heart rate and low blood pressure.. But as I tell Brenna as long as I'm talking I'm okay.

I am going to post a link to the American Heart Associations support network for you out there that might need a little support along this crazy journey we call recovery supportnetwork.heart.org
I find it an amazing resource to reach out to people who have either been in my shoes or are trying to prevent a heart attack or stroke.

 In the end:

FRUSTRATION.. what came first the chicken or the egg?

Frustration has become an all too normal part of dealing with the medical specialties for me lately. Ever since my heart attack was linked to a dissection of my right coronary artery due to the use of birth control I have been battling between Cardiology and Gynecology. Never did I think,  2016 would be the year of my heart and uterus..(say that five times fast)  two organs that I've never given a good deal of thought to until now.

 Many women these days take birth control to not just prevent babies but to help with cramps, bleeding and for many other reasons.  I myself had to be on birth control due to bleeding issues. Was it my first choice... no! But what else do you do when you're using feminine pads as big as the Titanic, and it's still not enough?? (Too much information I know.. but we've all been there)

In nursing school, I was taught about the effects and adverse events of birth control and personally made the decision to become a long time birth control user. Looking back would I have done things differently?  I'm not sure. Hindsight is 20/20 and at the time that's what worked for me. Remember, what is right for one person may not be right for others. Thank God we live in a country where you have personal freedom over your health care decisions. This blog is my personal view and may not be right for everyone.. Have this discussion with your doctor and decide what's right for you.

That brings me to today and the reason I'm writing my blog.
On 2-11-16 the day of my heart attack my Cardiologist told me in a very stern voice to never take any hormones again. I listened and then again had to deal with the bleeding issues. Leading now to a heated debate between me, and my gynecologist. Gynecologists don't want to believe that birth control caused my dissection. They chalk it up to something else. Although I have told them time and again that I have NO CARDIOVASCULAR RISK FACTORS. Here is where the FRUSTRATION comes in. Yesterday, I had to have an outpatient surgery and as I'm telling the Anesthesiologist my history my Gynecologist is looking at me like I have three eyeballs. Ugh!! I again tell my gynecologist after the procedure I don't want to use any hormones to control the bleeding even if it's just progesterone or an IUD. I can see by the look on his face he is like " would this chick stop already."  Nope!! Buddy, I am a nurse, women and I've done my research, and I won't take any more chances with my life. I only get one, and I will be the strongest patient advocate... so watch out!

In the end, there will always be two sides to every issue... What came first the chicken or the egg? What caused my heart attack? It depends on who you ask. For me, my faith lies in the hands of my
Cardiologist. He was able to see my heart in the Cath lab while doing my angiogram and placing my two stents. At this point, it doesn't matter.. I just want to make sure that it NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN.

If you take one thing away from my blog today, is to be an ADVOCATE! Don't let frustration make you silent. Ask questions, do your research and if you feel uncomfortable with what you hear .. Don't give up. Stand up!
Get a second opinion if necessary. You are in charge! Just like people, doctors can also have high variability in how they treat you not just medically but also compassionately.. Although I've only mentioned Cardiology and Gynecology today remember this can happen in any medical area. I continue to ask you to be an advocate no matter what type of doctor or health concern you are dealing with.

Maybe next week? The day Cardiac Rehab sent me home!

 

 My new digs every Monday, Wednesday and Friday!

 

I have to be honest, yesterday was a tough day for me. I was all excited to dust of the tennis shoes and get on the treadmill to health... But my heart had other things in mind. I mentioned earlier that I was re-hospitalized last week with chest pain. What they think is happening is that my heart and pericardium(membrane enclosing the heart) are inflamed from the stents and catheters being used during the Cardiac catheteritzation procedure. The effect of this is extreme chest pressure with increased activity.
I decided to finally venture downstairs this week and immediately upon coming back up to the top step knew I had done too much. Crazy right, walking one flight of stairs in your home is too much.. For pete sakes, this is a girl who ran two half marathons, thought hot yoga was the best thing since sliced bread and loves to exercise!

It took almost 4 hours after one flight of steps to recover and have the chest discomfort resolve. I decided to go to Cardiac Rehab yesterday thinking the only way I'm going to get stronger is to get on that treadmill and walk. I got all suited up in my new shirt that Tracy Farland sent me, tied my shoes and sat down with the rest of my group. One elderly man's hearing aid battery died so they kept shouting at him so he could hear. Another, had fallen earlier that morning in his bathroom and had a band aid on his forehead covering his sore. One lady smelled like smoke... All I could think was, this is my new reality. Why am I getting so mad because somebody still smokes after having a heart attack?? We do our warm ups, stretch and then get on the treadmill.

 





As soon as I get walking at the speed of 1.5mph (Yep, a turtle just lapped me)  I start to feel that chest discomfort come back.. UGH! As I look around I see that everybody is working hard.. why is this happening to me?
The nurse ( who by the way are amazing in Cardiac Rehab) comes and takes my blood pressure and heart rate and sees that my chest discomfort is starting to get bad. She backs my tread mill down and tells me to keep walking to see if the chest discomfort lessens.

 

 The picture above is the result of the chest discomfort. I will never take the ability to walk without discomfort for granted. I don't know how many times I just jumped on the treadmill, cranked up the speed and started running.. Those days are over for awhile.. BUT I KNOW THEY  WILL RETURN.. slow and steady will win this race.

My Cardiologist started me on a new medication that is a little stronger than the Motrin I was taking. I now have a new medication called Colchicine (sounds like a spice in your pantry) that helps with acute pericarditis.  Remember, the blood thinners I take pretty much react with everything and increase my chances of bleeding. As my husband says, take all the knives out of this kitchen for awhile!!

 

My Cardiologist told me to take a few days off from Cardiac Rehab and try again next week giving the medicine time to work.

 

I will not let this get me down!

 

 

My goal next week.. To accomplish one full week of Cardiac Rehab without discomfort!

 

Bring on the treadmills!! I'm ready!

 

 

What? I'm a 40 year-old mom having a heart attack...

It started as a normal day.. I exercised in the morning, got the kids to school and went to work. After school we ran around and did our normal daily routines. I took Brenna to Irish dance lessons, we had supper and all went to bed. At 2:00 am I woke up with crushing chest pain. First thought, I gave up caffeine today for Lent could that be the cause? What if I'm having indigestion?! I got up and walked to the coach and sat in the dark for a minute. By now, I'm noticing the pain is in my jaw. I finally start to acknowledge that this is something bigger than I could possibly imagine. I have a Bachelors in Nursing and remember from my training that women present differently than men.

I decided it was time to wake up my husband. I will never forget that moment of telling your loved one that you're having chest pain. Still not wanting to believe it was a heart attack I took his phone and briefly googled "women's heart attack symptoms". As I read down the list I finally had to acknowledge that this WAS happening. My husband said "I'm not that good at CPR, I'm calling an ambulance".

After the call to 911 it seemed like it took forever. My mind was racing, what if the kids wake up and see the ambulance stretcher?,  Then it hits me I may not ever talk to my kids again, or I might die!! Are you kidding me, I went to bed a normal person in what I thought was good health and now I'm having a heart attack! I'm only 40 years old, I have a family to take care of and a husband I dearly love and have many years of fun experiences awaiting us.

When the ambulance came, I was put on Oxygen and an EKG was done to see what my heart rhythm looked like. Nothing was said, I was loaded on the stretcher and loaded in the ambulance, My husband got the kids settled and followed me to the hospital.

The ride in the ambulance was scary! Right away Ryan (EMT) said the dreaded words.."You're having a right sided heart attack, I'm starting the STEMI protocol." Four baby aspirin were  popped into my mouth and nitroglycerin under my tongue for the pain. I'm thinking to myself is this really happening? And then I started to sweat profusely, the pain gets more intense. I remember looking at the ceiling of the ambulance praying to God, begging my dad in heaven and all my guardian angels to let me live.  I can't be dying I have a lot of living to do. I need to see Parker and Brenna grow up, get married and have kids.  I can't leave Joe the love of my life its way too soon. I asked Ryan (EMT) to promise me that he will keep me alive, I say "I'm too young to die." Ryan says " I'll try." Now I look back and think Ryan you could of just lied to me and told me "you're not dying on my watch!" Heck, had it been a bad outcome I would have never known you lied Ryan. It's these little things that happen that for some reason mean so much.

We enter the ER and all hands on deck.. At that point when I see all the people I know it's bad. People are coming at me from all angles, patches are placed, IV's started and then a chaplain shows up! At that moment, I'm thinking nope I'm not dying tonight this is not happening!! I'm a mom, a wife...the list doesn't end and this is not fair. I work out 5 days a week, try to eat right and.... At that moment Joe my husband comes into my room and I start to relax. I can see the scared look in his eyes as the chaplain asks us to pray before I go to the Cath lab. I take Joe's hand and squeeze it. I look at him not knowing if I I'll ever see if him or my kids again. All I can think to say is "I love you and I'm so sorry this is happening."

I'm wheeled into the cath lab where more patches are hooked up and defibrillator patches are placed. At this moment, I say a silent prayer to God asking that he lets me live. My thoughts while the nurses are prepping me go immediately to my husband and kids. What if tomorrow doesn't come? I can't leave my husband to raise my kids alone. This is not fair! Why me, why now? I have so much life to live! Please God don't let me die!

The next thing I remember is the Cardiologist  telling me that I had a dissection of my Right Coronary Artery, they had to place 2 stents.  It didn't help that the doctors kept saying that this is very rare or I have no other risk factors. I kept thinking, What???? Why??? How???? Me??? The questions keep racing in my mind. The nurses take me to my room in CCU and I get to see my husbands smiling face. I knew at that moment that everything was going to be fine, I am alive!

We had plans to go to church that night for Ash Wednesday but those plans soon changed. I was given the service bedside. What better way to celebrate the true miracles that happened that night and all the guardian angles that had a hand in my positive outcome.
 No matter what lies ahead I'm ready. I have been given a second chance at life and from now on.. I will never take any day for granted!!

I will not lie to you the day was filled with anxiety, nausea, pain and discomfort. I had thoughts swirling through my head how do I tell people? It kept hitting me that I almost died last night. My husband and I tried to figure out the best way to let people know. But then again how do you start off a phone call, email or text? Do you simply say "Hi, Melissa had a heart attack" what then?? I will never forget peoples response of shock, "Melissa had a heart attack?" they would say.  I know right.. aren't heart attacks reserved for the 65+ crowd? All through out the day I had trouble holding back tears.. tears of joy and then tears of what might have been. We each go through our daily life and move from task to task not ever imagining that today may be the last. We all need to remember that life is a blessing not to be taken for granted.

We found out that day that years of estrogen from birth control pills had caused my heart attack. The good news is I have no other risk factors and will start cardiac rehab to get my heart stronger. I will continue to blog through my recovery because I feel its important for others to know that what they are experiencing is normal post heart attack no matter what age you are. During this last week I have felt happy, sad, mad and confused. I remember a volunteer in the hospital talking about going to Walmart and I got jealous. Walmart? I know it sounds crazy. But post heart attack your independence is taken away and you have to rely on the love and help of friends and family. Simply walking from one room to the next can require lots of effort and you get really short of breath.

The hardest part about recovery is seeing all the worried looks on loved ones faces. This has been a true wake up call. I appreciate all the kind messages, visits and laughs from friends, family and loved ones. 

The picture below was taken when I was able to see my kids. (My son is not big on pictures)

I will continue to blog about my journey and the daily struggles of surviving at heart attack at 40.