Maybe next week? The day Cardiac Rehab sent me home!

 

 My new digs every Monday, Wednesday and Friday!

 

I have to be honest, yesterday was a tough day for me. I was all excited to dust of the tennis shoes and get on the treadmill to health... But my heart had other things in mind. I mentioned earlier that I was re-hospitalized last week with chest pain. What they think is happening is that my heart and pericardium(membrane enclosing the heart) are inflamed from the stents and catheters being used during the Cardiac catheteritzation procedure. The effect of this is extreme chest pressure with increased activity.
I decided to finally venture downstairs this week and immediately upon coming back up to the top step knew I had done too much. Crazy right, walking one flight of stairs in your home is too much.. For pete sakes, this is a girl who ran two half marathons, thought hot yoga was the best thing since sliced bread and loves to exercise!

It took almost 4 hours after one flight of steps to recover and have the chest discomfort resolve. I decided to go to Cardiac Rehab yesterday thinking the only way I'm going to get stronger is to get on that treadmill and walk. I got all suited up in my new shirt that Tracy Farland sent me, tied my shoes and sat down with the rest of my group. One elderly man's hearing aid battery died so they kept shouting at him so he could hear. Another, had fallen earlier that morning in his bathroom and had a band aid on his forehead covering his sore. One lady smelled like smoke... All I could think was, this is my new reality. Why am I getting so mad because somebody still smokes after having a heart attack?? We do our warm ups, stretch and then get on the treadmill.

 





As soon as I get walking at the speed of 1.5mph (Yep, a turtle just lapped me)  I start to feel that chest discomfort come back.. UGH! As I look around I see that everybody is working hard.. why is this happening to me?
The nurse ( who by the way are amazing in Cardiac Rehab) comes and takes my blood pressure and heart rate and sees that my chest discomfort is starting to get bad. She backs my tread mill down and tells me to keep walking to see if the chest discomfort lessens.

 

 The picture above is the result of the chest discomfort. I will never take the ability to walk without discomfort for granted. I don't know how many times I just jumped on the treadmill, cranked up the speed and started running.. Those days are over for awhile.. BUT I KNOW THEY  WILL RETURN.. slow and steady will win this race.

My Cardiologist started me on a new medication that is a little stronger than the Motrin I was taking. I now have a new medication called Colchicine (sounds like a spice in your pantry) that helps with acute pericarditis.  Remember, the blood thinners I take pretty much react with everything and increase my chances of bleeding. As my husband says, take all the knives out of this kitchen for awhile!!

 

My Cardiologist told me to take a few days off from Cardiac Rehab and try again next week giving the medicine time to work.

 

I will not let this get me down!

 

 

My goal next week.. To accomplish one full week of Cardiac Rehab without discomfort!

 

Bring on the treadmills!! I'm ready!

 

 

Going from a mutli-tasking mom .. to a short of breath lump on the couch!

The days that followed my heart attack became really confusing. I had to call somebody to go to the bathroom. You have to be kidding me? Why can't I just jump out of this hospital bed and go pee?

Sleeping was a little scarce. I had been started on a new regimen of medications. I went into the hospital on one medication and now I'm leaving on four! One of the medications is a Beta Blocker. This is a medication given to post heart attack patients to help reduce the energy needs of the heart and decrease oxygen consumption.  The funny thing about Beta Blockers is they don't really know how they work in the long run. The Cardiologists just say its better to take it then not.. Ok. The only problem is when you give this to a patient like me who had normal to low blood pressure and a low resting heart rate.. all the monitors go off. I had nurses rushing into my room at night because my blood pressure would drop into the 80/50 range. Keep in mind a normal blood pressure is 120/80.  My pulse while sleeping would go in the 40's, normal 60-120. So as you can imagine to my surprise the nurses would abruptly open my door to make sure I'm still breathing. Well, the shock of being woke up definitely got my vitals headed in the right direction.

Before I left the hospital the nurses from Cardiac Rehab came to visit me. They had books on risk factors, modifiable and non-modifiable... your probably thinking to yourself what???
Modifiable are things such as: high blood pressure, smoking, diabetes, physical inactivity, bad diet (yep, that means fast food and grease which we all love), and being overweight. Non-Modifiable are things you can't change! Think of it this way, age, gender and family history. You are stuck with your genes and no I don't mean the type of jeans you have to squeeze into after a fun weekend of too much food and wine. Isn't red wine heart healthy?? Of course in moderation.

Cardiac Rehab had a lot of things not to do, don't drive for a week, don't lift over 10 lbs., start the Cardiac Diet ( are you kidding me?) One thing they did tell me was that I would have a range of emotions. Sorry Joe I know that this woman is already moody, buckle up its gonna be a long ride. After the nurses said all this they would then insert "but then again you don't have any risk factors, but it won't hurt to try".  I set up my appointments for Cardiac Rehab and will now go three times a week. I have visions of who will be in my class, grandma's and grandpa's and yes that truly is my class. I told Joe I just want to go around and hug them all they are so cute!

That first day home was tough. My family was there to help me. My mother-n-law flew in from Arizona, my sister and family came from Chicago.

That's when it hit me. The true impact a heart attack can have on your loved ones.  When you see their faces. Joe and the kids were truly amazing during this whole process. I could see the worry in their faces.  I noticed how many more "I love yous" I would hear as they would pass me on the couch. My sister Jennifer hit me the hardest. When she walked through the door I could see how worried she was. If felt amazing to be able to just hug her and let her know that she is stuck with me for the duration like it or not. (That's right Sissy I'm not going anywhere)  Friends would come by to visit and you could see the shock and disbelief. It  really made people start to look at how precious life was.

The one thing that I was not ready for was all the flowers. Now, this girl loves her flowers! I have a huge issue in the spring with buying more flowers then my yard could possibly hold.. shiny object syndrome my husband teases me about.  But as all the flowers sat on my coutertop I would look at them and think "WOW, those flowers could have just as easily been for my funeral." I know this seems crazy to say but it's so true.  Remember, the nurses told me that there would be a range of emotions and here it finally surfaced.

The emotions during that first week ranged from seeing the night light in the bedroom and thinking that's what I looked at as I walked out to the family room with chest pain. To putting my head on my pillow and wondering would I wake tomorrow morning? Joe and I started to make a joke of this to add a little levity to the situation. I would say before bed "if you wake up in the middle of the night wake me up to make sure I'm alive". You might think this is crazy.. but in my mind all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have monitoring patches on any more. No nurses to run into my room and tell me to wake up? Joe is great but he is no magician, he can't look at me and say your blood pressure and pulse are low.. sit up Missy!

My next step is going to Cardiac Rehab classes. I am excited and nervous. I went from working out daily to now hanging out on the coach and each day increasing my activity level. The hardest part is trying to just do simple chores like making my daughters lunch for school. When you start to cry over the inability to make a peanut butter sandwich with out getting short of breath you just have to keep the faith that the struggle with normal living will get easier.

Here is a picture of me getting released from the hospital the second time.
(Yep, on my one week anniversary I had chest pain, was short of breath and had radiating chest pain.. I had an additional night in the hospital last week). My heart checked out.. 1/30 people with stents will have inflammation around the stents and I was the lucky one. Well, maybe not so lucky.

Here's to hoping to a week of no hospital stays! Bring on Cardiac Rehab!!

What? I'm a 40 year-old mom having a heart attack...

It started as a normal day.. I exercised in the morning, got the kids to school and went to work. After school we ran around and did our normal daily routines. I took Brenna to Irish dance lessons, we had supper and all went to bed. At 2:00 am I woke up with crushing chest pain. First thought, I gave up caffeine today for Lent could that be the cause? What if I'm having indigestion?! I got up and walked to the coach and sat in the dark for a minute. By now, I'm noticing the pain is in my jaw. I finally start to acknowledge that this is something bigger than I could possibly imagine. I have a Bachelors in Nursing and remember from my training that women present differently than men.

I decided it was time to wake up my husband. I will never forget that moment of telling your loved one that you're having chest pain. Still not wanting to believe it was a heart attack I took his phone and briefly googled "women's heart attack symptoms". As I read down the list I finally had to acknowledge that this WAS happening. My husband said "I'm not that good at CPR, I'm calling an ambulance".

After the call to 911 it seemed like it took forever. My mind was racing, what if the kids wake up and see the ambulance stretcher?,  Then it hits me I may not ever talk to my kids again, or I might die!! Are you kidding me, I went to bed a normal person in what I thought was good health and now I'm having a heart attack! I'm only 40 years old, I have a family to take care of and a husband I dearly love and have many years of fun experiences awaiting us.

When the ambulance came, I was put on Oxygen and an EKG was done to see what my heart rhythm looked like. Nothing was said, I was loaded on the stretcher and loaded in the ambulance, My husband got the kids settled and followed me to the hospital.

The ride in the ambulance was scary! Right away Ryan (EMT) said the dreaded words.."You're having a right sided heart attack, I'm starting the STEMI protocol." Four baby aspirin were  popped into my mouth and nitroglycerin under my tongue for the pain. I'm thinking to myself is this really happening? And then I started to sweat profusely, the pain gets more intense. I remember looking at the ceiling of the ambulance praying to God, begging my dad in heaven and all my guardian angels to let me live.  I can't be dying I have a lot of living to do. I need to see Parker and Brenna grow up, get married and have kids.  I can't leave Joe the love of my life its way too soon. I asked Ryan (EMT) to promise me that he will keep me alive, I say "I'm too young to die." Ryan says " I'll try." Now I look back and think Ryan you could of just lied to me and told me "you're not dying on my watch!" Heck, had it been a bad outcome I would have never known you lied Ryan. It's these little things that happen that for some reason mean so much.

We enter the ER and all hands on deck.. At that point when I see all the people I know it's bad. People are coming at me from all angles, patches are placed, IV's started and then a chaplain shows up! At that moment, I'm thinking nope I'm not dying tonight this is not happening!! I'm a mom, a wife...the list doesn't end and this is not fair. I work out 5 days a week, try to eat right and.... At that moment Joe my husband comes into my room and I start to relax. I can see the scared look in his eyes as the chaplain asks us to pray before I go to the Cath lab. I take Joe's hand and squeeze it. I look at him not knowing if I I'll ever see if him or my kids again. All I can think to say is "I love you and I'm so sorry this is happening."

I'm wheeled into the cath lab where more patches are hooked up and defibrillator patches are placed. At this moment, I say a silent prayer to God asking that he lets me live. My thoughts while the nurses are prepping me go immediately to my husband and kids. What if tomorrow doesn't come? I can't leave my husband to raise my kids alone. This is not fair! Why me, why now? I have so much life to live! Please God don't let me die!

The next thing I remember is the Cardiologist  telling me that I had a dissection of my Right Coronary Artery, they had to place 2 stents.  It didn't help that the doctors kept saying that this is very rare or I have no other risk factors. I kept thinking, What???? Why??? How???? Me??? The questions keep racing in my mind. The nurses take me to my room in CCU and I get to see my husbands smiling face. I knew at that moment that everything was going to be fine, I am alive!

We had plans to go to church that night for Ash Wednesday but those plans soon changed. I was given the service bedside. What better way to celebrate the true miracles that happened that night and all the guardian angles that had a hand in my positive outcome.
 No matter what lies ahead I'm ready. I have been given a second chance at life and from now on.. I will never take any day for granted!!

I will not lie to you the day was filled with anxiety, nausea, pain and discomfort. I had thoughts swirling through my head how do I tell people? It kept hitting me that I almost died last night. My husband and I tried to figure out the best way to let people know. But then again how do you start off a phone call, email or text? Do you simply say "Hi, Melissa had a heart attack" what then?? I will never forget peoples response of shock, "Melissa had a heart attack?" they would say.  I know right.. aren't heart attacks reserved for the 65+ crowd? All through out the day I had trouble holding back tears.. tears of joy and then tears of what might have been. We each go through our daily life and move from task to task not ever imagining that today may be the last. We all need to remember that life is a blessing not to be taken for granted.

We found out that day that years of estrogen from birth control pills had caused my heart attack. The good news is I have no other risk factors and will start cardiac rehab to get my heart stronger. I will continue to blog through my recovery because I feel its important for others to know that what they are experiencing is normal post heart attack no matter what age you are. During this last week I have felt happy, sad, mad and confused. I remember a volunteer in the hospital talking about going to Walmart and I got jealous. Walmart? I know it sounds crazy. But post heart attack your independence is taken away and you have to rely on the love and help of friends and family. Simply walking from one room to the next can require lots of effort and you get really short of breath.

The hardest part about recovery is seeing all the worried looks on loved ones faces. This has been a true wake up call. I appreciate all the kind messages, visits and laughs from friends, family and loved ones. 

The picture below was taken when I was able to see my kids. (My son is not big on pictures)

I will continue to blog about my journey and the daily struggles of surviving at heart attack at 40.